性本hae

procrastination harvest, share with you:

（背景：做本學期最後一份功課做到悶悶地就亂填詞）

「又到聖誕，又冇聖誕
做晒ｄtest，快快衝功課喇！
孟孔儒 is coming to town...」
（inspired by 家駿）

「平安夜，繼續做嘢～
粒粒字，皆辛苦！
望住孔子雙眼都發亮
未做的homework喊都冇用
盼這weekend做晒啦！
不可以拖到過年……」
（inspired by 斌少）

and my procratination for today ends here.

人生一瞬

最忙碌的時候，總愛做盡各樣瑣碎事情。在剛過去的「廿四小時死亡倒數開卷考試」期間，我彆扭地翻了幾遍書架上的課外讀物，多次讓視線留駐不能從深淵把我救拔的文字中。直到今天，面前剩下最後一道死線，我還是久不久便捧著詹宏志的《人生一瞬》翻一翻；那是出版同工的臨別惠贈，但當時我只匆匆讀過作者的序。

翻著內文，我又把序言重讀了一遍；那文字還是一樣細膩懾人。

「就在某一天，我突然記起這許多事情和畫面來……。年輕時候的我，無暇回顧平淡生活的過去，在汲汲營營的職場社會裡一心向前，心思被辦公室的爭權奪利佔滿，渾不知這些片段畫面記憶對我的意義。父親過世的那個晚上，我沈默載著他的遺體奔馳在高速公路上，細雨濛濛，路燈閃爍，小貨車濕漉漉的車輪涮涮涮地轉動著，彷彿奔向不再有光明的未來。我不知道該傷心還是該專心，思緒難以集中。忽然之間，記憶倉庫打開，灰撲撲衝出來千百隻蝙蝠，無方向地散落亂飛，洒得我滿頭滿臉。從那之後，往事盤旋，思緒就停不了了，我常常陷入在某件意義不明的記憶裡。

我猜想，我不但失去了父親，大概也已經不再年輕了。

那個細雨奔馳的晚上，我和車內父親的遺體沈默相處著，我坐在前座，他躺在小貨車後廂平坦處，一塊事先準備好的紅布蓋著他，微微呈現一個人形，這倒是很像他生前我們兩人的關係，我總是不知道該跟他說些什麼。雖然負責葬儀的婦人一再交待，我一定要一路向他解釋路途，並提醒他過橋，免得他成了迷途的鬼魂，但我還是開不了口，他是我的父親，他帶著我走過深山和城鎮，他永遠是認得路的。

記憶中我和父親的直接對話，總數也許不超過一百句，我們好像沒什麼可講，或者說我們的關係好像不是建立在對談之上。在家裡，父親好像不是小孩傾訴的對象，母親才是；可是父親也不曾責備我或處罰我，母親才會。母親是家中情緒的核心，父親的存在則像一片佈景，標示著這個家庭的來歷，卻沒什麼作用。特別是在小時候，經常不在家的父親總是在夜裡回家，早上我偷偷打開紙門窺看，一床紅被面裹著一個聳起的人形，就像現在車內的他，蒙頭蓋著，安靜的，沈睡著……。」

我企圖找出它好讀的原因，不果；就像一把本不特別完美的嗓子，卻唱出撥動你心弦的音韻。由是它一直佇立在我的「來往戶口」（書架），好幾次整理房間時也沒把它收在床板下。

今天，讀到這段：

「記憶可以是這麼騙人的東西，你發現它已悄悄依你的需要做了假，但你卻找不出中間編造的界限與痕跡，如果你發現記憶的一個謊言，你就開始擔憂，會不會自己真實的一生都是依自己的喜愛編造的，那些美好的記憶有多少是真實的？所幸人生太勞累也太紛雜，並不適合這類本體論的思考，你上班開了兩天頭昏眼花的業務會議，對人生大問題也就不著急了。」

對我來說，記憶的假不比它的空洞可怕；也許只有極痛苦的人，才會選擇失憶。

Self-Embedding

Teens' Latest Self-Injury Fad: Self-Embedding

By Tiffany Sharples Thursday, Dec. 11, 2008

"At a recent medical conference in Chicago, a team of radiologists from Nationwide Children's Hospital presented intriguing X-ray evidence of a psychological phenomenon — what they believed was a new form of self-injury among teens and adolescents. Eleven out of 505 patients whom the team had treated in more than a decade had inserted objects — from chunks of crayons to unfolded paper clips — under their skin in a behavior the Nationwide team labeled "self-embedding."

我看見的吊詭，是無聲的吶喊；無助地，把企圖收藏的痛楚具體地展現在身體上。收藏，因為害怕面對，然而內心深處隱含著一個更大的恐懼－－「倘若這些痛沒有如實地記錄在不滅的瘡疤上，我怕連自己也會一併失去……」

我不會明白箇中滋味；單是想像那種千絲萬縷、時兒相連，時兒對立的情緒，已叫我暈眩；我，實在無法體會你們的痛。

沿著文章的超連結走到〈時代〉的網站，我看到一道日本年輕人的傷痕……

Self-Injury in Japan

Photographer Kosuke Okahara locates a world of deep despair among young Japanese women.


"In a 2006 study conducted in Kanagawa prefecture, 14.6% of the female high school students surveyed said they had purposely injured themselves at least once with a knife or pointed object, while 6.3% said they had done so at least 10 times."


"Kaori examines the scars on her forearm. Alone in Tokyo, the child of a broken home, she is stuck in a seemingly endless cycle of depression, unemployment and self-harm."

stress management

這是我聽別人說的幾個「抗壓反應」的分享：

前組長：會鎖門和不斷檢查門有沒有好好鎖上

某人的妹妹：會倒晒自己的化妝品出來重新整理一番

某創作人：會無啦啦將自己工作枱「變黑」（總之花時間油油）；會買些無聊的鎖碎物品回來裝飾客廳、廚房

至於我，我留意自己由讀大學時代已「培養」了一種自娛兼娛人的抗壓反應……會亂講嘢，搞爛gag，扮死蟹（死狀＝趴喺地）或死曱甴（死狀＝趴喺牆），甚至填詞……

今年，填了這一首：
*************************************
（O Christmas Tree　抗壓版）
O Donavan，托它歸家？（同學舉起O Donavan）（旁：唔係嘛？）
做唔掂都係死撐咋！
O Donavan，托它歸家？（同學再舉起O Donavan）
你講真定講笑咋？
聖誕就應該在家抖吓，咪帶成堆paper咁呀咋
O Donavan，托它歸家？（旁：唉，算吧啦！）
鑑平鑑粗賣比佢喇！（指住Mdiv2同學）

O Pelican，托它歸家？（旁：你又嚟？）（同學舉起Pelican）
薦住個煲係幾靚架！
O Pelican，托它歸家？（同學再舉起Pelican）
你講真定講笑咋？
我勸大家即管抖吓，咪企圖超越你極限
O Pelican，要燒毀它？（旁：咁又唔好咁嘥！）
鑑平鑑粗賣比佢喇！（指住Mdiv1+MCS1同學）
*************************************

如果你係中神同學但笑唔出，咁你應該比我更stress……

Advent Conspiracy

小組密鑼緊鼓地籌備退修營和聖誕派對……早前有姊妹「發現」（踢爆？）我從不出席聖誕大組活動，是的，每次總有缺席派對的原因。也有想過自己是否患了「不能與喜樂的人同樂症候群」？後來在靈魂的回聲谷找到了答案－－也不是的，只是心力有限，不想遊走於被宴樂包裹著的空洞和慘白中；誰敢說派對中盡都是「喜樂」的人？與其跟「裝喜樂」的人「同裝」，不如靜靜與三兩好友相聚，喝杯熱騰騰的咖啡；或在家中跟老頭再來一次IronChef對壘……

未來一個月，好最別約我到銅鑼灣；SOGO的人潮叫我望而生畏，那種購物的瘋狂令頭很痛……

進入advent的第二天，謝謝音音從遠處傳來的網站：

The story of Christ's birth is a story of promise, hope, and a revolutionary love.

So, what happened? What was once a time to celebrate the birth of a savior has somehow turned into a season of stress, traffic jams, and shopping lists.

And when it's all over, many of us are left with presents to return, looming debt that will take months to pay off, and this empty feeling of missed purpose. Is this what we really want out of Christmas?

What if Christmas became a world-changing event again?

Welcome to Advent Conspiracy

.

131

（原打算寫給音的電郵，在也貼在這裡吧！）

pie,

一連幾天，縈繞腦際的一篇詩
上星期的讀經範圍，殘留到今天
NRSV的標題是silent trust
是我渴望的一種與主相遇的境界
可能人大了，就不再嚮往地陷山搖的激情
細水長流，更扣人心弦

給你送上馮象的譯本
論文學性，比現今不少中文翻譯更勝一籌
除了文字的美，希伯來原文的零碎感也保留了
詩，本來就該這樣讀的
欲言又止，才有想像空間

在忙碌中學習留白的，
pumpkin

詩篇一三一
（朝聖歌，屬大衛）

耶和華啊，我的心不驕傲，
我的眼睛不高；
那些大事超出我的能力，
奇巧，我不敢奢求。
不，我的靈已平和已安寧，
宛若斷奶的孩兒
偎在母親懷抱，我的靈
彷彿那孩兒恬靜。

願以色列把耶和華翹盼，
從今天直到永遠。

singing wildberry

i really can't believe i'm doing this; 72 hours from the deadline of my OT essay, here i am, blogging.....(?!)

讀下去，找報導，全因聽了一首歌：


我已經睜開眼了 撐過甦醒的疼痛
我伸開雙手迎接四方的風 抖落刺骨的操縱
我不是溫室花朵 你也不用假裝溫柔
我學不會你們虛偽的臉孔 只會、真實、面對、自我
我們有屬於我們的夢 我們有我們的話想說
在你們背叛自己以後 不要連我們一起出售
我們有屬於我們的夢 我們有我們的話想說
在你丟棄了信念以後 灰燼裡我們選擇出走
安靜不代表認同 和平不代表承受
你的傲慢再一次燙傷了我
這一次我不會沈默

****************************************************
原本在找Deuteronomistic History的資料，結果找到了幾個台灣神學生的blog，聽了這首歌；就這樣，擾攘了半小時……

好，現在繼續搏殺，打敗Gerstenburger後再細讀野草莓的來龍去脈。

Reading list:
野草莓運動
台灣學界連署聲明
inmedia：台灣「野草莓」的前後

for Teddy and her Bella

秋日，星期天，微涼，趕緊往衣櫥鑽，搬出了寒衣，又整理了一些放在抽屜沒有公開的舊作；在此一貼，莫失莫忘。

去年冬天，Bella離開一年多的時候，給Teddy姐寫〈告別了〉；我在手稿上這樣寫：

他的離去，讓她想起了年多前不辭而別的女兒。人生中某些揮之不去的傷痛，不足為外人道；早以為埋葬了的過去，在你最不在意的時候，把好不容易才收拾好的世界再次打翻。它無情，亦無視你的感，因為它可以這樣。然而我確信，總有一天，它會衰老；總有一天，它會隨風而去。

她，這樣回應：

約瑟將會重返迦南，請別悲哀
棚屋會回到玫瑰園，請別悲哀
如果洪水即將來臨，吞沒所有的生命
諾亞方舟是你們在風暴中心的指引，請別悲哀
(燦爛千陽 p.418)

謝謝你碰觸了我的傷口……

然後，我收到她的作品：

For Bella

Love is gentle and love is kind
The Water is wide I can’t cross over
And neither have I wings to fly
I will never understand the reason why
The feeble morning light is the only answer to my silent prayer
A life of regret
Who have need to remember but try to forget
Where you there as a dream
Though it all seems so real
With the laughter I hear and the touch I can feel?
For the secrets you kept
Now my heart is broken forever
If you will let me share your day
For each shooting star a wish I send
I will wait for you as the days go by
With my dream though I am

期待著Eileen為這詩譜的曲。

秋日，星期天，微涼，再次把這歌送給你：


〈告別了〉
especially for Teddy

曲、詞、彈、唱：lilnic
製作：Hansun@AmazingGraceStudio

繞過秋冬春夏　它終於可停下來
佔領每一刻──我對你的思念

痛苦隨著淚水　從眼角流到臉頰
帶走所有紛擾　飛翔到遠方

再也不想說也不想聽　千篇一律的安慰話
時間能沖淡一切的想法　天真的謊話
觀看枯葉安然墜下突然明白了
這一瞬　全然是　美麗的

Gordonia axillaris

「遠足人士多在秋冬季節出動，可惜那時漫山的花兒大都凋謝了，納悶之際，卻見雪白的茶花在山頭綻放，教人暖在心頭。這位行山客的好朋友每年十月開花，直至翌年一月，好像專門挑戰寒風冷雨，跟毅行者一樣堅強傲骨。大頭茶甚至能抵抗毒素，在污染的土壤上茁壯成長。直至春日初昇，大頭茶才收起倔強笑容，默默散落，迎接新一年的來臨。」
「大頭茶有革質葉能耐風及耐旱，在東北季風盛行的迎風陡坡能適應良好。開花時常可在地上撿到漂亮潔白似茶花的落花，深紅色的落葉也頗具特色。其木材為淡紅色，質密緻堅韌，可供建築及薪炭。」

相片來源：台灣后里國中教育

獨個兒登山的人，可以慢慢和樹交朋友。

我不喜歡節日在街上和人摩肩接踵，寧可挑難走的路也不要隨波逐流；當見到別人也開始染指自己手所作的工，我會欣然的默默離開，迎接生命新的里程。若給我足夠空間，我可以在煩囂中怡然自得。

若我變成樹，我或許會是一株大頭茶。

compress。release

生活過度壓迫或放鬆，都不是創作的好時機
感覺就如彈手風琴，一拉一壓，美妙的音樂才會釋放出來。

******************************************************

喜歡逛畫展，尤其當作者把我心中的一份感覺具體地描繪出來......
對喔，創作不就是compress與release之間的音樂麼？

今年選擇只讀四科的我，要加把勁譜字、寫歌、作畫了。

你有空的話，也約朋友食個tea，睇個畫吧！

{a yip‧release}藝術作品展 - 12-31.10.2008

展覽地點：尖沙咀金馬倫道１８﹣２０號萬勤商業大廈２Ｂ＜DY Club Cafe Gallery＞
展出日期：12-31.10.2008（2pm - 1am) (逢星期一休息）
查詢： 2367 2188

（謝謝燊提供的照片）

自由．in my own words

給予別人自由，是信心的外顯
是把心中那種對神的謙卑、對己對人的豁達作最完美的鉤勒

there are (rare) moments when i wrote something i really like. just want to keep a record of it. the statement was written in response to a friend's facebook notes.

in accordance to what was written, i guess freedom is also relational: there would be no freedom if only one person was left in the entire world.

magic

姊妹從迪士尼盡興歸來，晚膳之際不忘向我展示那為「獎勵自己」而買的毛巾……
「嘩，好靚喎！」
「係呀，我買嗰陣係一舊壓縮咗嘅「餅」，跟住我「monk」開佢，佢就鬆ｄ，然後洗完就變番條毛巾喇。」
（我口快快）「嗯，乜你唔知個玩法係將佢成舊掉落水然後睇佢自地散開架咩？」
（笑）「吓？係咩？唔怪得佢個面寫住係magic啦！」
「D magic咪比你破壞晒囉……」（繼續笑）

晚禱之時，想起這樁小事，有所感悟。有時候，人心裡有很多驕傲、苦毒、鬱結、不滿，不知不覺就成了條壓縮的毛巾；有的想盡辦法「自行鬆綁」，這也是徒然；唯有完全浸在祂的愛裡，讓每一寸都因吸了這活水而飽滿，才能展現內藏的那幅美麗圖畫。

我，常常「手痕」企圖自行鬆綁。

「不要效法這個世界，只要心意更新而變化，叫你們察驗何為神的善良、純全、可喜悅的旨意。」
羅馬書12:2

「心意更新而變化」，即transformation。記得柏堅曾說，transformation和reformation的分別，在於前者有dying（依我理解是與基督同死的dying），而後者沒有。我把這和「魔法毛巾」連在一起思想，就更明白那種由內而外、從心而發的改變與自行鬆綁是何等不同。

我，能否看到他、她、它還沒有被釋放的美麗？

也許我可以，若我學會體驗祢愛的魔法。
May your magic work in me,
unimpededly.

trance

it was a normal humid afternoon like all the others; a thick greyish layer of air hanging low, people muddling through the noisy streets with eyes fixed on the tip of their shoes; you knew, or had the slightest desire to know, none of the strangers you rubbed sholders with. i swam through the vicous sluggishness of blue monday and found a spot away from the sliding doors of the train, then i began to flip open the pages. i heard a sound of silence.

precisely put, i was sucked into this void of silence, a blackhold of all sounds and distractions; i was beamed into another world.

it was my olfactory nerves that first discovered the scent of the new surroundings; a fishy, moldy smell like that before a great storm. the air was still dense and heavy, but the budging crowd was gone, i was all alone in the inner-chamber of a castle (or a prison perhaps). distant thunders penerated the stagnate air. but soon i was aware of a pattern behind the sound, like someone leaping in fixed intervals; and as each "thunder" grew in strength and volume i realized those were no thunders but footsteps of something gigantic, something that was coming my way.

"Man has learnt to cope with all questions of importance without recourse to God as a working hypothesis, so what we call "God" is being more and more edged out of life".

"what if one day they (these ultimate questiosn) no longer exist as such, if they too can be answered without "God"?"

"Bonhoeffer is not prepared to find a category for Christ... His question about Christ is never, 'How?', but always, 'Who?'..."

with each approaching thunder-like footstep the ground shook, and a chunk of the castle/prison where i dwelled fell and was broken into pieces. rubbles began to pile up at my feet and i could no longer stand still amidst the earthquake. each step of this giant shook my world to the core.

finishing the last sentence of the preface, i closed the book. i was at the same old metro station again, squeezed between countless wanderers in this 'open prison', feeling a little surreal.

i think this semester would be quite interesting.

now reading:

anticipation, and more --- on〈Das Parfum〉

"It was not especially difficult for him to stay awake and wait, despite his weariness. He loved this waiting. He had also loved it with the twenty-four other girls, for it was not a dull waiting-till-it's-over, not even a yearning, expectant waiting, but an atendant, purposeful, in a certain sense active waiting. Something was happening while you waited. The most essential thing was happening. And even if he himself was doing nothing, it was happening through him nevertheless... He had never felt so fine in all his life, so peaceful, so steady, so whole and at one with himself..."

if taken out of the context, this passage from 〈Das Parfum〉 described precisely what 'active waiting' had meant to convey. passion was the one word conjured up as i read through this almost demonic passage of Grenouille the sociopath. it was petrifying to see passion's evil twin if you ask me.

Other passages that spoke to me in Süskind's book:

"talent means next to nothing, while experience, acquired in humility and with hard work, means everything."

(while Süskind seemed to loath such saying, i saw it as a self-reminder)

"Ordours have a power of persuasion stronger than that of words, appearances, emotions or will. The persuasive power of an odour cannot be fended off, it enters into us like breath into our lungs, it fills us up, imbues us totally. There is no remedy for it."

(couldn't help thinking about the power of the Holy Spirit as i read this...*grin*)

"He could do all that, if only he wanted to. He possessed the power. He held it in his hand. A power stronger than the power of money or the power of terror or the power of death: the invincible power to command the love of mankind. There was only one thing that power could not do: it could not make him able to smell himself. And though his perfume might allow him to appear before the world as a god -- if he could not smell himself and thus never know who he was, to hell with it, with the world, with himself, with his perfume."

(this is Grenouille's death warrant, a sad realization of his self-unknowing. throughout the novel Süskind reminded his readers his villain's inability to comprehend the concept of God. i've never imagined such thing possible, but to simply assume its possibility gave me the chills... afterall, love is a gift indeed. and sometimes the joy of an average, un-talented being is more to be treasured than the riches of the world.)


related post: murder --- on〈Das Parfum〉

murder --- on〈Das Parfum〉

"She was so frozen with terror at the sight of him that he had plenty of time to put his hands to her throat. She did not attempt to cry out, did not budge, did not make the least motion to defend herself. He, in turn, did not look at her, did not see her delicate, freckled face, her red lips, her large sparkling green eyes, keeping his eyes closed tight as he strangled her, for he had only one concern -- not to lose the least trace of her scent."　--- Patrick Süskind, 〈Das Parfum〉

Soon another Feast came around and Jesus was back in Jerusalem.

Near the Sheep Gate in Jerusalem there was a pool, in Hebrew called Bethesda, with five alcoves. Hundreds of sick people—blind, crippled, paralyzed—were in these alcoves. One man had been an invalid there for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him stretched out by the pool and knew how long he had been there, he said, "Do you want to get well?"

The sick man said, "Sir, when the water is stirred, I don't have anybody to put me in the pool. By the time I get there, somebody else is already in."

Jesus said, "Get up, take your bedroll, start walking." The man was healed on the spot. He picked up his bedroll and walked off.

That day happened to be the Sabbath. The Jews stopped the healed man and said, "It's the Sabbath. You can't carry your bedroll around. It's against the rules."
-- John 5:1-10

看不到
就是看不到瘸腿的起來行走了
只看到安息日的律法

我們忘記了失而復得的雀躍
被重重圍困在「敬虔」的囹圄
就像〈香水〉中Grenouille這冷血殺手一樣
"He, in turn, did not look at her... for he had only one concern
-- not to lose the least trace of her scent"

當我們拒絕看他們的臉孔
掠奪他們「是人」的權利
我們就是殺人犯
"You can't carry your bedroll around. It's against the rules."


Lord, have mercy on us.

the Great Divorce

throughout the years i've developed a habit of tagging passages in a book that speak to me while reading. i usually type them out and save them in a file afterwards. it's my way of dialoging with the authors.

the quotes may seem quite discrete and 'out of nowhere', that's why they're my notes and not yours =P. i hope you're not satisfied with these dialogues to a point that you eventually pick up and read for yourself.

*************************************************************

Don't you remember on earth --- there were things too hot to touch with your finger but you could drink them all right? Shame is like that. If you will accept it --- if you will drink the cup to the bottom --- you will find it very nourishing: but try to do anything else with it and it scalds. (what a nice analogy on 'shame'.)

They say of some temporal suffering, "No future bliss can make up for it," not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory. And of some sinful pleasure they say "Let me have but this and I'll take the consequences": little dreaming how damnation will spread back and back into their past and contaminate the pleasure of the sin. Both processes begin even before death. The good man's past begins to change so that his forgiven sins and remembered sorrows take on the quality of Heaven: the bad man's past already conforms to his badness and is filled only with dreariness. And that is why, at the end of all things, when the sun rises here and the twilight turns to blackness down there, the Blessed will say "We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven," and the Lost, "We were always in Hell." And both will speak truly.

(his stance against "No future bliss can make up for it," for sure reminded me of Paul's comments on love, that "it keeps no record of wrongs". i used to find that impossible to believe; some hurts can never by wipped away; but little did i know that love, instead of wipping away, heals. and by perceiving our deeds as processes Lewis saved us from the dualism that separates an act and its consequences, a good slap on the face even for the great Constantine.)

There have been men before now who got so interested in proving the existence of God that they came to care nothing for God Himself...as if the good Lord had nothing to do but exist! There have been some who were so occupied in spreading Christianity that they never gave a thought to Christ. Man! Ye see it in smaller matters. Did ye never know a lover of books that with all his first editions and signed copies had lost the power to read them? Or an organizer of charities that had lost all love for the poor? It is the subtlest of all the snares. (points can't be clearer)

There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, in the end, "They will be done." All that are in Hell, choose it. Without that self-choice there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. To those who knock it is opened.

(yes, i do see the underlying theological preference, Lewis is quite unlikely a Calvinist on the topic of predestination. but a great quote nonetheless: "there are only two kinds of people in the end", that indeed is the case)

Those that hate goodness are sometimes nearer than those that know nothing at all about it and think they have it already. (thanks for the slap on the face. ouch, but i will remember to stay close to You, Lord.)

Every poet and musician and artist, but for Grace, is drawn away from love of the thing he tells, to love of the telling till, down in Deep Hell, they cannot be interested in God at all but only in what they say about Him...They sink lower --- become interested in their own personalities and then in nothing but their own reputations. (to know about God v.s. to walk with God)

No natural feelings are high or low, holy or unholy, in themselves. They are all holy when God's hand is on the rein. They all go bad when they set up on their own and make themselves into false gods...And yet all loneliness, angers, hatreds, envies and itchings that it contains, if rolled into one singe experience and put into the scale against the least moment of the joy that is felt by the least in Heaven, would have no weight that could be registered at all. Bad cannot succeed even in being bad as truly as good is good. (i had the thought but never the articulation to put into words, thx Lewis!)

For every attempt to see the shape of eternity except through the lens of Time destroys your knowledge of Freedom. Witness the doctrine of Predestination which shows (truly enough) that eternal reality is not waiting for a future in which to be real; but at the price of removing Freedom which is the deeper truth of the two. And wouldn’t Universalism do the same? Ye cannot know eternal reality by a definition. Time itself, and all acts and events that fill Time, are the definition, and it must be lived. (an elboration of his stance on Predestination, now i see his point better, though i still don't understand, quite frankly)

*************************************************************
one of the things i like about C.S.Lewis is his creative approach on 'hard issues' like theology. when the topics become too complicated and ideas hard to convey, telling a story might just be your best shot. and Lewis always does it beautifully. a piece of reader's response to share with you (to tell you the truth i don't really expect anyone would read the whole thing....*grin*...keke)

began composing on aug21, 08, finished today =P


related post: souvenirs of Hell

disillusionment

資料來源(2): Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913) [web1913]
Disillusionment \Dis`il*lu"sion*ment\, n.
The act of freeing from an illusion, or the state of being freed therefrom.

十一班那年，首次接觸這個字，到了讀大學的日子才開始我對它首個深刻的「經歷」。 老師說disillusionment就是當小孩子漸漸長大，發覺爸爸已不再是心中那個萬能英雄的一種覺醒；這對我來說不大深刻，因為我好像沒有（或已忘了）把父親當偶像的記憶，或者，我少有「要好似XXX咁叻」的概念。其中一次深刻的「幻滅」是因為某牧者的醜聞（我不記得是哪一個，要知道在北美久不久便會有這些金玉其外的傳道人），那趟是離身的；也有些「覺醒s」是對「聖而公的教會」的認真質疑，那是貼身的：因為行政、因為人事、因為某種個人利益，「教會」的決定竟然是這樣非人性（比「世俗標準」更甚）；由信主至今，這類「覺醒s」從沒歇止－－加國、香港、教會、機構，you name it.

某程度上，他們沒有「犯規」，也是「跟足」聖經原則的。聖好像從沒有喝止我們「為了行政的考慮輕視人內心的痛苦」，所以不能怪罪決策人（？）耶穌也沒有命令我們be in one another's shoes（？）我愈說覺得自己愈荒謬。

所以，已習慣了living in a life of disillusionment，好像那些我熟悉的痛：何時會最痛，何時藥力開始發作，抽痛一小時後會通常會很累然後睡著......i know the drill. 如是，對於disillusionment已不足為奇，只是無盡的心痛－－為那我依舊敬佩的人的失腳而痛，為那一點「人」性也沒有的基督身體而痛，為自己沒有丁點兒容人之量而痛。可惜，對於這等痛我找不到舒解的止痛藥。

剛從豪仔的blog讀到Planet Shaker其中一位牧師Michael Guglielmucci的騙局，我頓時想起教會那群年青人，那群熱衷敬拜的小伙子；他們得知這消息後當如何思考？我著急，因我是這樣艱難地走過disillusionment的路（也許不是「走過」，而是「學習走在」）。「覺醒s」，特別是對教會的敗壞的覺醒就像癌症一樣：它來過了，還會再來，你不能「根治」它（也沒有人能誇口說可以打敗它），每次它來你也痛苦不堪，但你只有接受它，學習與它共存。那，不是捱打（雖然偶爾還是會泄氣），而是回到人所屬的位置，那個「我不是什麼」的位置，每天在生與死的臨界宣告得勝屬乎耶和華，我只是忠心地活著而已。

近日讀了很多孫寶玲牧師的舊網誌（詳情得容後交代），非常認同他在〈誰的基督？〉所說的：「如果你不會因為聖經而驚訝甚至扎心，抱歉，你還沒讀懂聖經。如果你的耶穌只是「梳你背」、「解你憂」的好朋友，對不起，你還未認識祂是那凝視你的人子。……沒有人比基督徒更需要悔改，沒有地方比信仰群體更需要潔淨。」但相比他所言更觸動我的，是他仍然服侍那個厭棄他的群體的堅持；nothing speaks better than a man's actions，我想起楊牧谷筆下的淚眼先知耶利米。

這，也得容後再談；正在趕緊讀孫牧所有附屬「奇異恩典」標籤的文章（共四十三篇），邊讀邊寫邊對話；遲些盼能把那個很很很很長的東西節錄到這裡。

在禱告中記念著那群真心侍主的小伙子。

mourning with WN

the vitality of life and the reality of death always puts me back into perspectives. it is by then i realize my world is only as big as the speck resting on Horton's flower and my redeemed self as precious as the pot of gold at the rainbow's end

thx for all the sharing articles. they're indeed inspiring.

(allusion decipher hint: Dr. Seuss + some Irish tale)

the iron chef......home edition

九號風球的下午，在一片喝采聲中（我家電視這幾星期都停留在奧運台），老豆與我相約廚房大戰一番：


dad's 芝士薯仔天便麵 V.S. my 煙三文魚蕃茄炒蛋+黑橄欖麥飽





記得小時候夏季總是常常打風，近年感覺上少了；當忙碌的城市忘了停下來，大自然便會來提醒我們，她說：就讓颱風給他們一記耳光吧！

打得真好 =)

btw，iron chef的賽果是……大家都清了碟
（趁媽子在北海道還沒有回來，趕快收拾殘局為上算）

words words

words words

because i know they are ruthless, powerful, and lethal
i'd remain silent
plz allow me to remain silent for a while

i'm sure i'd say something rash
although they are my true feelings
but they will hurt
and one day, when i look back, i'd rather my true feelings were never heard instead
to save the regret for that one day
plz allow me to remain silent for a while

and yet
here i am, giving births to more words
unleashing something i can no long handle
perhaps one as weak as i can never hold back
gushy stormy waves stirred up inside of me

at last
i gulped it down
like spoonfuls of medicine
my nerves become numb
oh, but please let me swallow it all up
if Jesus is really living within me
then He can tame the ocean of bitterness alright

and so i believe

25.5 degrees?

(taken outside H&M, central, back in June08, a normal breezy nite)
they said problems usually arise at the executional level...
...which is true in this case

souvenirs of Hell

"A sum can be put right: but only by going back till you find the error and working it afresh from that point, never by simply going on. Evil can be undone, but it cannot 'develop' into good. Time does not heal it...

If we insist on keeping Hell (or even Earth) we shall not see Heaven: if we accept Heaven we shall not be able to retain even the smallest and most intimate souvenirs of Hell."


絕對同意友人所言，每一個字也有它獨特的顏色與感覺；故縱然意思相近，所預示的氣氛可以迥然不同。有些字，不能輕易說，也不能隨便說。翻開Lewis的〈The Great Divorce〉，原來是一個正邪不兩立的故事；可對我們來說，divorce這詞的重量已蕩然無存，甚至正邪也已經不是George Macdonald所指的那回事：

"No, there is no escape. There is no heaven with a little of hell in it --- no plan to retain this or that of the devil in our hearts or our pockets. Out satan must go, every hair and feather."

也許字義的「轉型」也不盡是悲觀的；捱打地越級挑戰神哲領域的一年間，我發現不少作者在書的起首詳盡地把活潑的新義（或被遺忘了的舊義）注入一些我們慣用的字中，從而迫使我們重新看待一些扭曲了的想法。學期初讓全體同學讀到「反艇」的〈Holy Scripture〉就花了不少篇幅討論revelation, text, community, faithful reception的含意，甚至表明authority of Scripture in the church是如何跟世界上那些可以是反覆無常、專制和不法的(capricious, arbitrary, and unlawful)authority 不能相提並論；又或者，Webster在此正是要為authority的定義來一個「洗底」。


字就是這樣觸碰著我的神經。

今天早上，覺得〈The Great Divorce〉的introduction中"souvenirs of Hell"一詞用得實在好；罪就是這樣，常常掛著一副天真無邪、毫無殺傷力的臉孔，仿如那些無傷大雅的「紀念品」一樣－－until you see their real faces...

story of grace

調整了guilt-free的放暑假心態後，終於可以整理一下歷年來的見證檔案。堅持每次講見證都以相同的材料煮不同的菜式，因為相信道是活潑的，故尋道之人所思所感也當隨年日有所不同；這樣一來，小小的公文袋子成我預備見證的資料庫。

前陣子又有機會跟年輕人說故事；重新翻開一年前入學的見證文章，仍為那篇「半離題」的作品感恩：雖是樸拙之作，卻寫得痛快－－那時截止報名日期臨近，也不知何來這「豁出去」的胸襟，選擇了不依指引下筆的不歸路－－現在再讀，對那份孩子氣無怨無悔。

後來有一次，應邀在台上說一遍蒙召的經過，這次我選擇了唱出來（就是不愛跟人家指令辦事的貓！），並用了amazing grace的藍本，寫了story of grace

在這裡一次過跟你們分享天父送我的厚禮；很長氣的喔！

＜中神的二千字文章＞

二零零七初的清晨，天還沒有亮，她從下榻的地方拾級而上，一口氣攀到光明頂向東的圍欄旁邊，等待從雲海冒升的太陽。寒風吹拂她微溫的臉，也透進了褲管，敲打每一個疼痛的關節。她凝視着面前的雲海，心中惦念着林林總總的鎖事。這時候，一抺橙紅滲進她眼下這幅被白雪輕蓋的水墨畫，溶化了每一個縈繞腦際的念頭，把她帶回所站之處。

感動隨着淚水凝在眼眶，又滑過面頰，滴在結滿冰塊的雪地上。她沒有想過，兩年前還在病榻呻吟的女孩，今天竟攀越了積雪的黃山，佇立在峰的頂端，親手摸着天父所設的太陽，聽着祂在耳畔說「你是我所愛的，我喜悅你，我把最好的都留給你。」

******************************************

從小在天主教學校長大，知道天主創造了萬物，又創造了我。可祂卻離我很遠、很遠，是位高不可攀的主。中四那年我遠赴加拿大升學，面對陌生的語言、文化，再加上學習和與人相處的壓力，我漸漸明白，能操控於人股掌之上的事情其實並不多。在一個偶然的機會下，我在多倫多一個由「突破海外使團」所辦的營會中認識了一群基督徒；神就是這樣輕輕地把我帶到祂的身旁。

二零零一年的元旦，剛與眾人倒數過後的她把行李由房間牽到巴士上，準備回家。車的輪子不住往前滾動，把一籃子難忘的片段拖在背後，彷彿一隻又一隻色彩斑斕的紙鳶，在半空中被揚起。十多個小時的旅程不曾讓她定過神來──二萬人的敬拜、裝滿三個體育場的宣教機構、世界貧窮的實況──URBANA 的經歴給她帶來了身、心、靈的震撼，也讓這小女孩開始思想什麼是呼召和完全奉獻。

讀大學那段日子裏我曾參與不同的事奉，穩定的教會生活讓我有空間認識神更深。然而，功課的壓力隨着畢業之期的臨近不斷加增，一向對文科興趣較大的我更要面對畢業後前路的抉擇。猶豫之間，我選擇了先回港再作打算。

房間的燈已關掉了好一會，她還是在陌生的床上翻來覆去，絲毫沒半點睡意；腦海盡是一幕幕構想出來的圖畫，良久揮之不去。也許她只能怪那位過份「盡責」的護士，在她臨睡前竟如斯鉅細靡遺地講了一遍抽骨髓的過程。

朦朧中她聽見鄰床那位婆婆安祥地打着鼻鼾，夜靜的星空被厚厚的玻璃隔在醫院的窗外。小女孩以為自己在造夢──她沒有想過，會跟死亡走得這麼近。在抽骨髓的前夕，夜半醒來的她忽爾明白，最渴望服待的是活人而非實驗室內的機器。只是，小女孩並不知道，明天還有沒有服待別人的力氣。

畢業後回港不久，我被證實患上了急性淋巴瘤。接着的治療過程就好像給我上了一個密集的「生命速成班」──病患中的眼淚與歡笑使我更貼近活在苦難中的人，也讓我更懂得珍惜父母的愛。

軟軟的大毛巾和一室的蒸氣勾起了她零碎的兒時片段。那時她跟家中的桌子一樣高，又特別喜歡母親給她洗澡的日子。如今女孩望着鏡中的母親，驚覺她已經不再是昨天那個強壯、嚴厲的將軍；歲月在她手背上留下了抺不去的痕跡，也彷彿把潛藏於每個母親內心的溫柔擠壓了出來。剛動過手術的她，就這樣一邊看着為她抺身的母親，一邊緬懷小時候洗澡的情景。

兩年後，「生命速成班」的日子告一段落，我再次站於未來的起點，重新面對剛畢業時的我沒有趕及面對的抉擇。病患中我深深體會藝術如何結連了我的痛苦和信仰。縱使音樂並沒有治好我的癌，文字也沒有舒緩我的痛，但藝術本身的創造性允許我以另一種模式跟創造的主對話。在音樂、文字、圖像的世界裏，我心靈的嘆息被聽見，也經歷神的醫治。

我總算明白我為什麼喜歡貝多芬、雷諾瓦、布拉姆斯、梵谷他們了，我喜歡他們清純的生命本質，至情至性，誠實無偽的心靈，誠如一位藝術家說的：「藝術最大的價值不在藝術品本身，而在藝術家對藝術的認知和執著。」
──節錄自〈打破的古董〉，杏林子著

一個被聖靈感動的人也是有「異象」的人。他有一種「先知先覺」的能力。會先看到別人所未看到的，先感到別人所未感到的，先悟到別人所未悟到的。他把他的透視，他的感受傳與他的時代，或以後的時代。然而這一切都與「經驗」脫不了關係……一般來說，有深度的作家都是要經過人生烘爐的熬煉。他們往往要付出很重的代價去體驗人生、深嚐人生。
──節錄自〈蘇恩佩文集〉，蘇恩佩著

起初我以為讀文學將是我的必然之選，因為四年的大學生活沒有好好訓練我人文思維的根基；直至一天我翻看杏林子和的蘇恩佩文章，才赫然發現是生命經歷和信仰的沉澱使她們寫出了動人的文字。我想，也許我當追求的不獨是更深的文學造詣，而是熱切渴望跟創造的源頭緊緊繫上，這樣，我才可以讓昔日給予我最大安慰的音樂、文字和圖像，跟正活在痛苦中的人產生共鳴。

「有些人以伐木者的心態讀神學，走進天父廣大的森林，坎下他們認為好的木頭來用；有些人卻以自然學家的心態讀神學，整個人住在主的森林中，欣賞每一棵樹的獨特，享受森林中季節的轉換。你知道自己要作哪一類人嗎？」

當我告訴我的生命師傅有關報讀神學的決定時，他很高興，並說了以上的一番話。我明白認識神的路不是一條易走的路，忠於召命更是一項對身、心、靈完全順服的要求。所以我必需多騰出一點空間來好好讀祂的說話。

******************************************

從黃山回來後不久，女孩探望過恩佩，並在她的墓前重讀她的文字，又讀了神的話。她盼望在未來的日子裏，能完全進入真理的森林中，認識那位曾伴隨她走過死蔭幽谷的主更深。將要下山的太陽把無垠的海洋鍍了一片閃爍的金，就好像彩虹盡頭的寶藏 。女孩知道，天父會把最好的都留給她。

＜story of grace＞



Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

在令會的第五天　祢說：「你愛我嗎？」　重覆了幾遍
夜靜深宵回家的路上　我似預見終有一天
在祢殿裡求問　在祢院宇　瞻仰祢榮美　無人可比
時光卻把我推到盡頭

在病房的第八天　祢說：「我愛著你，從古也不改變」
站在生、死、成長的路上　我卻沒法揮去一些
在我夢裡的碎片　在記憶裡深深震撼我的字句和圖畫
旋律中找到釋放自由

在學院的第四天　祢說：「我創造你，遵照自己心意」
並未擔心　尋找的路上　繼續創作這一生的敬拜

奇異恩典　何等甘甜　我罪得以赦免
前我失喪　今被尋回　瞎眼今得看見

豪blog +

與豪仔並不相識，讀他的網誌卻是獲益良多；今回選了兩個近日他推介的links，公諸同好：

第一個是Randy Pausch的last lecture。前天在time.com讀到他離世的報導，後來在豪blog找到youtube link。真誠的演講，堅韌的生命，值得一看。



Randy Pausch, a Carnegie Mellon University computer scientist whose "last lecture" about facing terminal cancer became an Internet sensation and a best-selling book, died Friday. He was 47. (到TIME閱全文)

另一個是"How can we feed you today?"，正好點出今天教會的即食+消費主義。對我來說，drive-thru比一般「外賣」更「絕」但更應景，因為顧客連車都不願下，跟本沒有打算走出自己的安舒區。



友人的突然假期步入尾聲，昨日跟她分別時談到身邊被教會擠（有人或會以為是「篩」）了出來的伙伴，彼此相對無言；因為認真，所以不能留在半冷不熱的群體……

當鹽不再咸

究竟一年神學之旅改變了什麼？我不知道；但可以肯定，拆毀多於建造；這也是我期望的，所以放心繼續走進天父的森林遊歷。

聽過別人這樣說：好的教育，是讓同學拿著「問號」進來，帶著「感嘆號」出去；友人接著說，可憐香港的「小填鴨」卻是拿著「問號」進來，帶著「句號」甚至「省略號」走的。我喜歡帶著「感嘆號」下課的感覺，然而大學教育給我不止一大堆「感嘆號」，還有更多的更多的「問號」；可能這就是吸引我回歸書叢的原因。

作為神學生（雖然未夠「薑」如同學ws般堅持「不講道，不實習，不宣教」；但這原則確是有趣，也點出傳統傳道人的限制），我自然想到：究竟有多少個崇拜能讓我帶著「感嘆號」離開？又：我是否天天帶著「感嘆號」開始讀經靈修的呢？對，是「帶著感嘆號」來到神的面前，不是要求每天有「讀經得著」的消費型信仰生活。

東正教的神學在這一年擴闊了我狹隘的視野，特別在「美」和「苦難」的課題上，豐富了我原有想法。Schmemmann在〈For the Life of The World〉提到：

"The liturgy is...the joyous gathering of those who are to meet the risen Lord and to enter with him into the bridal chamber. And it is this joy of expectation and this expectation of joy that are expressed in singing and ritual, in vestments and in censing, in that whole "beauty" of the liturgy which has so often been denonced as unnecessary and even sinful."

他們傳福音的方法就是時刻彰顯神的美，認為真理和美善自然吸引人歸信。作者坦言：

"Beauty is never "necessary", "functional" or "useful". And when, expecting someone whom we love, we put a beautiful tablecloth on the table and decorate it with candles and flowers, we do all this not out of necessity, but out of love. And the Church is love, expectation and joy."

我無意一面倒支持東正教，因為有部份福音派的傳統也是可取、可敬的。我心裡倒是常常掛念那些我親愛的、因為各種原因離開了教會的朋友，他們大部份對信仰比誰都認真，這是作為基督肢體的教會的損失。剛又得知一位好友決定離開教，令我不得不提筆作這初階者的神學反思……

"since i think being a Christian is something a lot more than just hae in the church...but then I know that the church is like that everywhere...so what can we really do??

My pastor offered me to go help out in the youth group...but if I don't really embrace the church's "vision" and the "gospel"...then I will be like starting riots and stuff...so don't know what to do..."

對不起，沒有經你同意引用了你的分享；但我真的很想說，我大概不會為你「能早日返回教會」祈禱，因為我們錯了，一直都錯了。要切切代禱的，不是「失喪的羊」（只有主有資格為我們冠上「失喪」之名），而是我們這個以為自己是好牧人的教會。

謝謝你今天提醒了我，當恆切為教會的悔改禱告。也送給你天父對我的安慰：孩子，對不起，他們讓你受苦、讓你累壞了；但你回去就當堅固你的弟兄，因為拆毁過後，我仍要建造。

j, it is easy to start a riot, even romantic to bring forth revolution; but He is more than that, He is subversive; He demands not our reformation but our transformation, which includes death and resurrection while the former does not. let the Lord demolish and let Him rebuild.

我還不知道，下一步該如何走。

我的五天精華遊

沒有時間讀字的人，請看片：

第五天．下一站香港

關於．溜街。

對我來說，任何景點都不及在大街小巷亂竄好玩。最喜歡別緻的小店、可愛的車子、又平又美味的小點…… 以〈聽見幸福〉命名的店，賣的是音樂盒；很喜歡這樣的舖排……

天師貓！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！（參〈魔女宅急便〉）

臨別這一天特意走到誠品敦南店看剛開始的展覽；台北的art happenings太多太多，好想多留幾天呢！



關於．後記。

這次在校園買了兩隻碟，都是不錯的製作，想起她和他快要到台灣定居，專心做音樂；我其實不是沒有想過，不再以旅客的身份住到這城市……除了香港和加拿大，我想，以台灣為家也是不錯的選擇吧！當然，每個地方也有它令人討厭的地方。

第四天．基隆，九份，瑞芳

關於．遊樂。

我想我是有繞路走的技能，卻總喜歡這差點迷路、多走了路的體驗。沒有待在基隆很久，但不會忘記很有人情味的老嬤嬤（雖然我們大概聽不懂對方在說什麼）。由基隆到瑞芳，沿途偶爾見到太陽，但一到九份，雨就一直沒有停過；就像香港的黑雨天。我實在慶幸腳上穿著一雙crocs－－我唯一的鞋。沒有心情找九份的那間咖啡店，但吃了非常好吃的油蔥粿（我也不曉得是什麼……）。冒著雨逛了一會，濕透了身，買了黑糖麻糬，便乘客運離去；原來「客運飆車手」+ 下大雨 + 險峻的山路 = 「飄移」的刺激




下了山，雨就少了許多。


關於．自助餐。

經過一輪商討，我和友人決定試試這下午茶自助餐；再一次證實我真的不是吃自助餐的料子；雖然糕餅款式很多，但我實在吃不下第四件甜點……這也許導致了pizza一出便排長龍的「盛況」。


關於．買。

我發覺這次沒有花太多時間買東西，只有最後一晚在公館站附近的校園書房和週邊的二手書/CD店打書釘。結果還是抵不住「香港神學生買校園出版書籍八折」的誘惑，買下了〈基督教神學手冊〉和厚厚的〈當代聖樂與崇拜〉。回家途中依照漂亮的空姐友人們的指示到了「梗有一間喺左近」的「康是美」，以兩分鐘極速掃了我需要的masks（後來發現幸好買了這麼多，尤其當我感覺好像沒有為好姊妹個別買該買的「手信」時……）。


這樣，有晚上，有早晨
第四天

第三天．金山，淡水

關於．金山人。

得資深台灣旅人的指點後，便一個人前去朱銘老師的美術館。「出門遇貴人」是今倘台北之旅的highlight。在金山遇上親身帶我到接駁車候車處的鄉公所職員（雖然車站只在不遠處，但態度跟我們擅長耍太極的公務員簡直天壤之別）；也遇到看見我手上拿著朱銘美術館單張，走過來告訴我候車處在哪的好心阿姨；後來她折返我所在的包店，給我送一個免費的入場證……夠戲劇性吧？

（btw，肉包和米槳是必吃之選，當我下午從美術館回來打算再吃一個時，已經售完了！）
關於．地上的方格。

朱銘美術館可愛的地方，是給你自由和空間塗塗畫畫；這四處可見的方格，留給你和你的sidewalk-chalk


關於．飲水思源。

欣賞美術館特意騰出空間介紹影響朱銘的李金川和楊英風：

「朱銘在現有的藝術成就上，對兩位恩師的感念從未停歇，每每談到個人成就時，必得先稱兩位恩師；「常懷感恩心」，在今日社會，更顯意義。

回顧歷史，我們站在前人的肩上，看到來時路，也遠觀未來。透過藝術創作，持續觀看流轉人間的真、善、美。」




在綠方塊茶室一小時，心靈果真充電一整天……

關於．海。

由金山坐公車沿著北海岸到淡水，一路上有海伴著我；有時候，最快最近的路未必是最適合我的路……

有晚上，有早晨
第三日

第二天．鶯歌，三峽

關於．生活。
空著肚子到了鶯歌，卻遇上了讓人「身心暢快」的老闆娘；也許這就是小鎮（總人口84660，其實也不太小）和城市的分別吧？在鶯歌的市場鑽進了窄巷，也不知自己身在何處，只想找點吃的。看著菜牌，吸引我視線的卻是「早上六點半至下午二點」的營業時間，實在太文明了！

關於．路。

喜歡由鶯歌火車站到陶瓷博物館的一段路，舖滿了彩色的石頭、碎片和別緻的mosaics。我在這裡悄悄的帶走了一塊石頭……

關於．豆花。

由於陶瓷博物館休館（唉，明明已不是星期一，卻因籌備雙年展的原故已休館一個月），便轉到陶瓷老街逛。若有機會，必回來探探「阿嬤豆花」的友善阿嬤；很可愛的一家人。小小的舖子，非週末週日是悠閒的，阿嬤的女兒會跟你慢慢解釋什麼是愛玉、什麼是燒仙草，會給你看他們的全家福，會告訴你馬英九還是台北市長時己曾到訪，在門口擺著他的親筆簽名……還有，在你吃了半碗豆花時，會細心地問你要不要多一點甜湯。

關於．「牛皮器」，關於奶茶。

三峽的老街，建築很美；小舖的店員驚訝我們居然敢「大膽」自由行。在三峽，發展原來有些「皮器」也是真貴的 ^^。在乘車回西門町之前，得嚐整個旅程中最美味的芋頭奶茶，可惜我實在未能盛載XL的份量。


關於．皮蛋豆腐。

回到家附近吃晚飯。喜歡街道兩旁的小吃，都是一小碟一小碟的，不用吃很多也可以嚐到不同滋味。這個流黃皮蛋，超好吃；配著滑滑的豆腐，襯上魯肉飯，只吃一口便覺齒頰留香－－數十台幣的幸福，令人滿足。

有晚上，有早晨
這是第二天